Memories of my Sophomore year Savior

Memories of My Sophomore Year Savior - written Sophomore year (2009)

As the school year ends
the dusk of the summer begins.
As suffering begins
suffering will end
Some friends will stay
and others will move on.

As dark has a beginning
dark has an end.
But light has no beginning
so light has no end
as friends forget and grow on
memories live on forever

The memories of my brother
who did all he could.
Who did what was right,
and was loved for it.
I didn't need  him to be famous
I just wanted to know I was loved.

My brother who didn't judge,
and gave me friends
and dealt no pain. 
He loved unbiasedly and would give his life for me.

Standing Up Again

Standing Up Again - Written Sophomore Year

I can't go on
I can't even see the sun
There is no one to light the way,
for the lantern burned out long ago.

I can't feel
the pain that was so prevalent
It has begun to become a numb hole
that may never again be full.

What is the point of friends?
They never understand.
Everything I say is nothing to them.
They only care about their preconceived judgements.

It isn't fair
They always told me that was the way
All the time I took their spoon fed criticism.
I let them break me down to a nothingless shell of empty pain.

I'm not going to take it any more.
This is my life to lead.
This is my destiny to maniuplate
Whatever you say, doesn't have to be true if I don't let it.

I'm standing up again alone
Don't even try to touch me.
I'm never going to get pushed down again.
I'm standing up again. 

Music

Music - written Summer 2010

It's what I thrive on.

It's so beautiful.

It can bind together

and tear apart.

The way it moves me,

the way it pains me.

Music inspires me,

it enlightens me,

it completes me,

it confuses me,

it owns me,

it controls me,

but mostly . . .

Music speaks for me. 

Love is . . . Part 4

Love - Written Summer 2010
Such a scary thing
isn't it though?
It's what everyone wants,
what everyone needs.
People die for it,
and others live for it.
Two things,
love and happiness,
intertwined and connected.
When you're happy, you love,
when you love, you're happy.
It's scary though
Love is the greatest desire
but the greatest fear.
So many flee it's touch,
to feel it, to embrace it.
Isn't love what a heart is beating for?
Then why don't we all love
like there is no tomorrow?
Why don't we love
every last second
of our lives.
Love the people around us,
love our opportunities,
love our great God,
love our friends and family,
love living,
love moving on,
love change,
love order,
love control,
love ourselves.
Let loose our love.
Let loose my love.

Hope

Hope - Written July 2010

Hope, such a fragile thing

with so much strength

So wasteful,

but so useful.

So easy to break,

but easier to build.

So doubted,

but so worth it.

so quickly springing,

and long lasting.

So weak,

but so much more powerful.

It can lead and army

and unite a country

It can save a life

and it can save the universe.

Hope is unbreakable

Hope is never ending. 

Love is the Movement

Love is the Movement - Written July 2010.

Love is the movement
it's moving in me
Where did it come from?
I wasn't expecting this.
I questioned it for so long,
but now it arrives.
Does she realize it too?
Or am I on a lonely road?
Do I tell her?
Or should I forget it?
My love is growing
it is expanding,
it is spreading,
it is speaking.
I feel it in a song.
It's the music in my soul.
Surely I shouldn't tell her.
No, she would be scared,
she might even be mad.
Is it true though,
can I love her this young?
It isn't a physical thing though,
I love who she is.
She is beautiful, but
that isn't what gets me.
It's the need I have
for her comfort and presence.
Her compassion, her thoughtfulness,
her personality.
Love, isn't the word,
It's not obsession.
I love you is said too much,
then not enough.
She is more than love
she deserves more.
She saves my life everyday.
She constantly inspires me.
She is that beautiful dream,
she is that twinkeling star,
that idling thought.
She is that symphony
She is that movement,
Love is the movement.

As I Said Goodbye

As I said Goodbye - Written March 23, 2012. Dedicated and inspired by Daniel Bradford, my 11th cousin, twice removed

As I said goodbye
I saw in your eye
a tear gone by
of times that fly

As I said good luck
the words seemed stuck
in the feelings and muck
of emotions that suck (like a vacuum)

I didn't say much
my words were such
that I could not clutch
they weren't enough

goodbye I said
while in my head
his eyes I read
of a journey ahead

but it isn't the end
maybe a minor bend
letters we'll send
alone, we won't fend

so goodbye for a time
good luck on the climb
find the words that rhyme
care not for nickel or dime

You will be great!
We've planned since eight
for this great date
with farewells to relate

goodbye my friend
It's not the end.
I will see you again
around the bend.