PLEASE READ THIS POST. Not a poem.

Hello friends.

First of all, this isn't Greg. Obviously. He entered the MTC 2 days ago to serve for 2 years in the Florida, Ft. Lauderdale Mission speaking Haitian Creole. He will be missed, but he is where he is supposed to be.

He asked me, a friend, to finish posting all of his poems and songs he has written on this blog because he never got the time to do it before he left. I know that there are a lot of them and you may not think they are worth your time to read, but let me assure you: they are. If you are ever feeling down, need a laugh, or want to be inspired, I encourage you to read his writing. Greg always said he could never verbalize what he truly felt, but his writing says it all. It is quite profound and every poem has many different messages, depending on who you are and how you apply it to yourself. Personally, I have felt the Spirit reading a lot of what he wrote. He is very close with the Savior, that much is prevalent. If you are a true friend of Greg's, you will read some of his words while he is gone and maybe leave a comment or two. He would really appreciate coming home to that.

Greg is a worthy young man who has sacrificed a lot throughout his life purely for the good of others. His dream is to be a hero in someone else's life, but we all know that he has been just that to all of us. He will continue that legacy in a greater manner serving the Lord. If you would, please leave a comment here letting Greg know that he did touch your life in some way and I will send it to him on his mission. It would mean the world to him.

Thanks for reading. And as Greg would say, "Have the best day ever!!!!"

Goodbye Natural Man

Dear Anger, Pain, Impatience, and Frustration.
Goodbye.
I've had enough, really.
I'm so sick of your temptations
Stop hankering me down.
And please, go waste your time on someone else.
I can't put up with you ever more
I'm sick of my down turned eye brows
and short-tempered disposition
I'm moving in with some new friends
and I hate to break it to you,
but I'm really hoping we don't have to see each other again.
So I'm going to smile now
and you can go waste Satan's time.
He's not doing anything better anyway.

Well, here's to starting over!

"Reflection on Death", "I'll Trust You"

Reflection on Death
At this time I think back
to when I was professedly suicidal
I wonder and ask myself,
Would I have left behind all that I knew?
Would I have left my family in misery?
What would the benefit have been?
What good could I do dead?

I think back and am grateful
That I got to a new life
Where I can be a light, alive
Where I've found myself.
I know who I am and
Who I want to be,
And I want to bless others

I'll Trust You
You tell me that If I want to find myself I have to lose myself
You tell me to put my life down for 2 years
and then resume again.
But I will do it for Thee.

You tell me that If I give it all up
I will find happiness
You tell me if I leave all love behind
I will experience more love than I've ever felt
So I trust you.

I may not have the answers
But I know You are the one
If You ask for my life as a sacrifice
Then I'll humbly say "Thy will be done."
I know You have all the answers
So I'll get on my knees and trust You.

You tell me that You know the way
I'll try to follow
You tell me You have eternal life
and I'll never go hungry
and I believe in Thee

I might falter sometimes
I might mess up the rhymes
But You always show me the way
And give me hope for a new day.
I often sin at times
I can be as sour as limes
But You always know the way
And You save me from the fray.

My Sunrise

So long the roads of darkness
crossed my path
So long the pain and anger
Clouded my mind
Till the day He said
"You have all that I have"
Till the day His light changed my life

Chorus
The light rushed in and the dark fled out
This is my sunrise, this ends my night
This is my rebirth, this is my new life
This is my sunrise
I see the sunlight
I see the day
I see my Savior
I see the way
I am born of God

So long my sins have stopped
me on the way
So long all my mistakes
Have put me in the fray
Till the day I found his mercy and forgiveness
Till the day I found his everlasting light

Chorus


Oh Jesus Christ (Oh saving light)
Save my life
I cannot do it without thee
I cannot do it alone

You are my sunrise, You end my night
You are by rebirth, You are my new life
You are the sunlight, You are the day
You are my Savior, You are the way
I am born of God

"Step Into the Stars", "Do You?", "Fight for You"

Step Into the Stars
Take a step into the stars
Cause that's where you are
Now look out way beyond
To see, we're not that far
I'm in a glorious place
When I see your face
I need to touch down to base
before I lose my place

Do You?
Do you think you know me?
Because I'd cross the world on my hands and knees.

Do you think you feel me?
Because you are everything

Do you think you see me?
Because you are all that I see

I love you
And I need you too
And I want to be
With you forever
I love you
and I need you
I need to be with you forever

Fight For You
I will fight for you
until the day I die
Because I die inside every time
I see your smile
Because I love you more
than life itself
and life without you
is like a cell
So I will fight for you
Until the day I die
Until the day I die

Broke Your Heart/ When We Were Friends

When we met
We couldn't have seen the end
We were set
We couldn't have seen this bend
because...

When we were friends
We could depend
on each other for strength
now it's the end
You will not bend
yourself only you defend
And now you're gone
and I'm broken

I've been lonely for a long time.
I've been seeing your face
I've been hearing your voice in my head
I've been seeing your smile

Heart broken
Words spoken
Can't you see?
Why can't I see you?
You set me free

And now We've come too far
And I broke your heart
And I am sorry
But it's still chasing me.

I'm not giving up
I'm not letting out
I'm not shutting up
I'm not going down
Why throw it away?
Why give up today?
I'm willing to say
I made a mistake.

You're Always Close to Home

Chorus
You're always close to home
With you I'm not alone
Because you did atone
I'm always close to home

Since I was young
I thought you were far.
Now I am grown,
and I can see you aren't.
The time I wasted
searching for your love
When I've had it all this time
It's time to realize

You're always close to home
No matter where you roam
His Spirit's never far
No matter where you are
Keep working for the goal
and your Spirit will be full
You're always close to home.

Chorus

You're always close to home
with you I'm not alone
I hope that you do know.

Sometimes I get lost
and you're always there
but I might not see you
until I humble myself
If I listen close, and I really try
I can feel you there
I've begun to realize
when I am done

Chorus


He died that day for you
So you could live for Him
He sacrificed it all for you
That could rid yourself of sin.
You have the chance to make a change
Keep Him in your heart and mind
and you'll be always close to home

No matter where I roam
I'm always close to home.

Make Me Yours

I've been lost for a long time.
Though I was fine with my own rhyme.
I was singing the words in the wrong time.
I guess I thought that I was just fine.

Then I hit face first on the ground
I felt the chains with which I'd been bound
You were helping me come around
So I knew that I had been found

So I decided to open my ears
And then I let go of my fears
I can feel it as your Spirit nears
I ask forgiveness through the tears

He said to me, it's been a while
You tried to hide with guile
I'll take away the taste of bile
if you will walk with me by the mile.

I changed from that day on
I knew that was the one
I put away my life of fun
To become His righteous son

Now I am a changed man
Sin I'm doing my best to ban
I follow Him because I can
And he makes me a real man.

Lord, make me Yours
heal me to the core
When I hit the floor, please
take my sins and sores
Help me become new
Guide me to be who I can be in You
Lord, make me Yours

Lord, I am yours
You healed me to the core
Your open pores take my sins and sores
You helped me become new
You guide me to be who I can be in You
Lord, I am yours.

Was I Enough?

Was I what you wanted?
Was I what you needed?
Did I take the time
to make you mine?
Was I the one
that made you undone?
Was I enough?
or were you too tough?

God's Hand Is In Everything

It's in the death of a father
and in the birth of a babe
It's in the loss of a job
or the promotion or raise
He's in the pain of a lover
and the healing again

God's hand is in everything
It's guiding you, trying you, along the way
God's plan is in everything
He's aware, He cares
He's there, He shares

Skype Hug

Skype Hug - Written 2012. Dedicated to Matthew and Maja Rellaford, my brother and his fiance. We wrote this hip-hop song for them.

It seems like years ago
and yesterday
When we were meant to be
in Hungary
You stole my heart like
a Gypsy Queen.
You had beauty like
I had never seen
You make me feel like
a Russian King
so I'll take the time
to stop and sing.

And so I'll give you a skype hug
Because I can't live without your love.
With every Skype picture,
my heart's a Skype mixture.
A Skype kiss goodbye
and I'll say goodnight.

On the days when I
feel down.
I know with you I'll
feel found.
A hundred of your
soft whispers
Will feel softer than
a cat's whiskers
Our 3 days together will
last forever. . . .



Bridge:
The birds and the bees
I'm weak in the knees
Ever since we met I've been looking for a reason
I'm feeling the sickness of every season . . .

Christmas Day

Christmas Day - Written Christmastime 2011 (song in the works)

It' Christmas Day
and I wake again
to ponder on
the son of man.
The day we celebrate
at last
to praise the babe
born in the past.
He came to earth
so long ago
to take my pain
and heal my sin.
I take the time
to stop again
and offer up
a prayer of thanks.

So I rejoice in the day
that Christ was born to say
Come follow me
so you can see
that I love thee
so you can perfect be.

Another day

Another day - Written 2012

Another day has come again
to pass away
The sun  has come again
to give a ray
The grass is green again
to make my day
The sky is blue again
we want to play.
We frolic in the grass again
and under clouds we lay.
In all our fun we've had again
it makes me want to say
The winter's gone again
to make way for May
To all our friends we see again,
we stop to say hey!
The summer is here again,
and that is okay!
So let's go to swim again
in the pretty bay.

You Complete me

You Complete Me - Written 2012

I made another mistake
the pain you couldn't take
you walked away
before I could say

You make my day
you make the rain go away
You complete me
You are the sea
You have my heart
like a piece of art
You're like a dove
you are my love.

Hero

Hero - Written Summer 2011

What are these visions in my head?
What are these dreams with shades of red?
What is to be my destiny?
What is to come? I can't foresee.

I choose to be a hero
I choose to conquer fear, ohhh!
I choose to be a man
doing all I can
Cause when the world stands still
I will fight until, the end

Some live life a normal citizen
Some choose to make a difference
Some live life in constant fear
and others overcome with the power of will.

Writing this song

Writing this song - Written Senior year

And I'm writing this song
about singing your heart out day after day
are you coming along?
or Am I writing this song all in vain?

Fame

Fame (Rap) - Written 2011, I think.

As a kid I always wanted fame
I dreamed about it every night and day
but it turned out to be all in vain
Cause I never got it, so I lost the game

When middle school came around again
I was back in the game, I was trying again
I was finding myself, finding who I'd be
but then it eventually occurred to me,

Fame is just a lonely game
Everyone wants it
so we're all the same
We're still fighting for a luxurious thing
But why do we do it,
if it's not worth anything.

 In High School I had the spotlight
And maybe it blurred my sight
But fame didn't matter much
because I didn't need it as such,

but I learned something more important
that no one can say you can't
For we choose who we are
and when we do, we will go far,
because

Fame is just a lonely game
Everyone wants it
so we're all the same
We're still fighting for a luxurious thing
But why do we do it,
if it's not worth anything.

People really want to see
Who you can be
so believe in yourself
and get yourself off the shelf

Just be yourself, be who you are
Fame and glory only take you so far
because it's your everyday side
that will change the tide, because

Proud of Me

Proud of Me (Song) - Started in Summer of 2011, just finished it.

All my life I've wanted something
It's part of me that no one knows.
I've tried so hard to be that something
But still, it never seems to show

It's what I've been trying to make you see,
I just want you to be proud of me!

All I've known is waiting for you
and giving my infinity.
I want so much for you to love me
and see the man I'm trying to be.

It's what I've been trying to make you see
I just want you to be proud of me
I'm trying always to swim the sea
so you'll be proud of who I'll be.
I'm doing my best to find the key
I just want you to be proud of me.

Please, look and see
open your eyes at me
to see who I'm trying to be
So you can know that it's me
Please look into my heart
come see that you are part
my soul is a piece of art
and I want you to see my heart.

but you already know. . .
It was you that sowed the seed that is me
I'm sorry that you need to show
that you know so that I will see.

It's what I've been trying to see
I just want you to be proud of me
I'm trying always to swim the sea
So you'll be proud of who I'll be
I'm doing my best to find the key
I just want you to be proud of me.

but you already are.

One day I'll look in your eyes
and you'll say, my son, well done.
and I will finally know
that you are proud of me . . .

It's times . . .

It's times like these that really make me think
How powerful is love?
How powerful is friendship?
What can't we accomplish when we work together?

Hope: The Life Force

Hope: The Life Force - Written: January 2011

I think hope is the strongest thing

in the heart of man

I think that hope is the purpose 

and reason of life.

Hope is what gives us reason to believe

that we can be saved.

Hope is the strength that keeps 

the soul alive.

Losing Battle

Losing Battle - Written Junior Year

I'm fighting a losing battle
Every day seems like a hassle
My heart is lost and driven like cattle
I feel that to pain I'm a vassal.

I'll get through the day.

 I'll get through

Sometimes I feel like I won't make it through the day
But it seems so often that I feel this way
Then tomorrow will come and I'll say
I  don't think I'll make it through the day

But every morning I wake, and I'm okay
Every day I look and I'm happy as May
So I really should decide to wake and say
I can easily make it through today.

Sorry I have been so behind. Here goes the update: Wedge

Wedge - Written Spring 2010

I see no fear

there is only anger.

I see the break 

coming in between us.

I feel no hate,

only length between us.

I am the wrong 

but I'm running from it.

We can't get back 

to the way it once way

I try to fix

the tension between us.

These are the thoughts of my heart

I was just thinking that I really like the title of my blog, because it really explains my blog perfectly. Everything that I write is in effect a thought that comes not from my brain, but from my heart. All these poems come straight from the feelings that I experience every day. That is why this blog works so well for me. Though I don't have that much to say, I feel like once in a while my heart is ready to go spill itself on a page some more. Well, I hope anyone reading this likes the poems, because that is about as good as it gets.

She is the reason. . .

She is the reason. . . Written 2007 - 2008 (Freshman Year)

She is the reason I live
and can't with out her.

She is the reason I breath,
but can't breath.

She is the reason I feel happiness,
but why I feel pain.

She is the reason I feel strong
but the reason i feel weak.

The is the reason I love,
but won't besides her.

She is all I need
and all I want.

She is my angel in disguise.

My Angel

My Angel - Written 2007-2008 (Freshman Year)

More beautiful than the sun

She is, my only one

Eyes that sparkle like the stars

they seem to send me to Mars.

A face more gorgeous than the spring

And always makes me want to sing

 Her voice sound like rain

and sweeter than any candy cane

Her laugh melts my heart

and always makes me start

Her smile is like a flower

and then I realize, I have no power.

When she is in pain

it drives me insane

unknown her name will remain

she is -- My angel.

My Angel

You

You - Written 2007-2008

I look at you

You stare right through

into my heart,

of which you are part.

You are my day and night

and you give me strength to win the fight

You give me new wings of lfight

and you expand my sight.

You fuel my might

and help me choose the right.

I Hear America Singing

I Hear America Singing - Written 3/30/09

How blessed we are 

to be able to go, not far.

to get anything we want or need. 

and not far at all to feed.

We live in a country free

where everyone's rights can be seen.

Where speech is unimpaired 

and enslaving is always ne'er

Where song and rhyme 

are free to be sung

by all the people

in the land to come.

Where family is

and family goes

It's not a land of kingdom

but a land of freedom.

The Death of a Hired Man

The Death of a Hired Man - Written 5/12/09

I could have been
What I should have been
Just once to call
a friend to call.
Only myself I thought of
What made me above
Without the shame of the sun
The things I could've done
Why didn't I think?
No, not even a wink.
Such an idiot I was.
And I will have to pay for it cause
One day we all pay.
and what will I say?

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening - Written 5/12/09

With School
You cannot stop
With homework
you cannot falter
with study
you cannot give up
With living
You cannot forget
With pain
You must put aside
With hate
You must always forgive
With family
You must always be home
With friends and family
nothing you do is ever enough.
No matter how hard you work or try
You are never good enough.

Mending Wall

Mending Wall - Written Sophomore Year

What do I do to keep them out?
I close the door, build the wall.
Close my eyes, scream my lungs out.
Sing, play, build, think, forget, upset.
What do I do to bring them in?
Bring them inside, compliment their eyes.
Notice them, treat them kind, don't forget
Smile, talk, laugh, sing, nice, grateful, complicated.

Because I could not stop for death

Because I could not stop for death - Written Sophomore year

The time of the second coming
the time with a lack of loving
where death and destruction
are everywhere and every place.

In the end I'll die
In the twinkling of an eye
when corruption puts on incorruption
and death brings new life.

A time after of peace and joy.
Not a time of armies to employ
1000 years of peace an happiness
exist without being missed.

When all will be together again
with our families in the millenium

Birds & Butterflies

 Birds & Butterflies - Written Sophomore Year

Birds & Butterflies
Smoke and shutters fly
Wings like eagles
I hate seagulls
Free from the world
sunk in deep for good
stress is not a problem
I always feel so numb
Breaking free from pain
I think I might go insane
I let my problems go
all I ever see is snow
Where some see light
others see dark.
Where some light a fire
Other snuff it out.
Hope and happiness
suffering and madness
so why focus on yourself
when you can feel happy
by doing service.

Half

Half - Written April 1, 2009 (three years from today)

Whether half full or half empty
why do we toil with difficulties?
Why not say half?
Why is there no middle man?
No one to break up the fight.
Optimistic is what I am,
but in the end, why does it matter?
Where air touches water, or glass touches solution.
Why do we worry over such trifling matters?
There is no need to worry about
where it is, but we should wonder where it goes.

American Dream

American Dream - Written Sophomore Year

I wish to be free
I wish for justice
but also mercy.
I wish for lack of persecution
and freedom of speech.
I want honesty and truth
I want our government to treat us all the same
When this has happened, then
we will have the American Dream.

A Break

A Break - Written Sophomore Year

A Break
Take a break
No it's not fake
con for heaven's sake
this is my life to make
now it is my chance to take
I finally feel as though I am awake
No longer is there a great snake
Everything is a piece of cake
Why did I not awake
don't feel the bake
swim the lake
A break.

This poem uses the rhyme ake and I think the sentence adds 1 or 2 syllables every sentence. Nothing deep, just a structure poem.

Memories of my Sophomore year Savior

Memories of My Sophomore Year Savior - written Sophomore year (2009)

As the school year ends
the dusk of the summer begins.
As suffering begins
suffering will end
Some friends will stay
and others will move on.

As dark has a beginning
dark has an end.
But light has no beginning
so light has no end
as friends forget and grow on
memories live on forever

The memories of my brother
who did all he could.
Who did what was right,
and was loved for it.
I didn't need  him to be famous
I just wanted to know I was loved.

My brother who didn't judge,
and gave me friends
and dealt no pain. 
He loved unbiasedly and would give his life for me.

Standing Up Again

Standing Up Again - Written Sophomore Year

I can't go on
I can't even see the sun
There is no one to light the way,
for the lantern burned out long ago.

I can't feel
the pain that was so prevalent
It has begun to become a numb hole
that may never again be full.

What is the point of friends?
They never understand.
Everything I say is nothing to them.
They only care about their preconceived judgements.

It isn't fair
They always told me that was the way
All the time I took their spoon fed criticism.
I let them break me down to a nothingless shell of empty pain.

I'm not going to take it any more.
This is my life to lead.
This is my destiny to maniuplate
Whatever you say, doesn't have to be true if I don't let it.

I'm standing up again alone
Don't even try to touch me.
I'm never going to get pushed down again.
I'm standing up again. 

Music

Music - written Summer 2010

It's what I thrive on.

It's so beautiful.

It can bind together

and tear apart.

The way it moves me,

the way it pains me.

Music inspires me,

it enlightens me,

it completes me,

it confuses me,

it owns me,

it controls me,

but mostly . . .

Music speaks for me. 

Love is . . . Part 4

Love - Written Summer 2010
Such a scary thing
isn't it though?
It's what everyone wants,
what everyone needs.
People die for it,
and others live for it.
Two things,
love and happiness,
intertwined and connected.
When you're happy, you love,
when you love, you're happy.
It's scary though
Love is the greatest desire
but the greatest fear.
So many flee it's touch,
to feel it, to embrace it.
Isn't love what a heart is beating for?
Then why don't we all love
like there is no tomorrow?
Why don't we love
every last second
of our lives.
Love the people around us,
love our opportunities,
love our great God,
love our friends and family,
love living,
love moving on,
love change,
love order,
love control,
love ourselves.
Let loose our love.
Let loose my love.

Hope

Hope - Written July 2010

Hope, such a fragile thing

with so much strength

So wasteful,

but so useful.

So easy to break,

but easier to build.

So doubted,

but so worth it.

so quickly springing,

and long lasting.

So weak,

but so much more powerful.

It can lead and army

and unite a country

It can save a life

and it can save the universe.

Hope is unbreakable

Hope is never ending. 

Love is the Movement

Love is the Movement - Written July 2010.

Love is the movement
it's moving in me
Where did it come from?
I wasn't expecting this.
I questioned it for so long,
but now it arrives.
Does she realize it too?
Or am I on a lonely road?
Do I tell her?
Or should I forget it?
My love is growing
it is expanding,
it is spreading,
it is speaking.
I feel it in a song.
It's the music in my soul.
Surely I shouldn't tell her.
No, she would be scared,
she might even be mad.
Is it true though,
can I love her this young?
It isn't a physical thing though,
I love who she is.
She is beautiful, but
that isn't what gets me.
It's the need I have
for her comfort and presence.
Her compassion, her thoughtfulness,
her personality.
Love, isn't the word,
It's not obsession.
I love you is said too much,
then not enough.
She is more than love
she deserves more.
She saves my life everyday.
She constantly inspires me.
She is that beautiful dream,
she is that twinkeling star,
that idling thought.
She is that symphony
She is that movement,
Love is the movement.

As I Said Goodbye

As I said Goodbye - Written March 23, 2012. Dedicated and inspired by Daniel Bradford, my 11th cousin, twice removed

As I said goodbye
I saw in your eye
a tear gone by
of times that fly

As I said good luck
the words seemed stuck
in the feelings and muck
of emotions that suck (like a vacuum)

I didn't say much
my words were such
that I could not clutch
they weren't enough

goodbye I said
while in my head
his eyes I read
of a journey ahead

but it isn't the end
maybe a minor bend
letters we'll send
alone, we won't fend

so goodbye for a time
good luck on the climb
find the words that rhyme
care not for nickel or dime

You will be great!
We've planned since eight
for this great date
with farewells to relate

goodbye my friend
It's not the end.
I will see you again
around the bend.

Starry night

Starry Night - Written June 2010

I'm looking at the stars and thinking of you
Thinking of all the times we shared, who knew?
Of all the drama we faced
and the problems we chased.
I'm looking at the sights
and remembering the nights
The nights we stared at the stars
our hearts pounded faster than cars.

Here I am

Here I am - Written: April 2010

Here I am
just take me
It's all I have to give
Go ahead
I've been waiting.

I may possibly make this into a song and update it later.

Unfinished poem

 Work in Progress - written: April 2010

You don't need me
You do it on your own.
You're throwing out the friendship
that we have sown.

He is Home (Poem and Song versions)

Sorry I'm late. I'll post a new song/poem for every day that I missed though.

He is Home - Poem: Written during 2008 to 2010

Broken by the trials of life.
It seems you can't stand the strife.
In your heart, there is a hole
You're waiting for it to be full.

You reach out, grasping for air.
Sending out your final flare
It is the last straw, you fear
You now realize, the end is near.

Suddenly you see a bright light
Filling up your whole entire sight
Suddenly the warmth comes in
and takes away all of your sin.

More happiness than you've ever known
from  His Son is now shown
His newfound love and endless passion
witness unto you His enduring compassion

Your heart is lifted
The pain has drifted
You're in His loving dome
You've discovered He is home


He is Home - Song - re-adapted 2011
Song Format: AAB'ABCB

Broken by the trials of life.
It seems you can't stand the strife.     1st Verse
In your heart, there is a hole
You're waiting for it to be full.

You reach out, grasping for air.
Sending out your final flare                2nd Verse
It is the last straw, you fear
You now realize, the end is near.

Your heart is gone
the pain has won                                 1st Chorus
You're in a losing game
You've realized, you have no name.

Suddenly you see a bright light
Filling up your whole entire sight      3rd Verse
Suddenly the warmth comes in
and takes away all of your sin.

Your heart is lifted
The pain has drifted                           2nd Chorus
You're in His loving dome
You've discovered He is home

More happiness than you've ever known
from  His Son is now shown                              Bridge
His newfound love and endless passion
witness unto you His enduring compassion

Your heart is lifted
The pain has drifted                          2nd Chorus
You're in His loving dome
You've discovered He is home


 The End. It currently does not include a tune, but will someday soon.

Love Is . . . Part 2 - by: Shanelle Winkel

Love is:

Love is a feeling; it overwhelms the soul.
Love is hard to find, yet around every corner
Love is powerful; it keeps the earth turning.
Love is a movement when you touch my hand.
Love is a chance to tell someone what they mean to you.
Love is music without words.
Love is a sound that is so loud no one can hear it.
Love is a mystery; in may never be solved.
Love is young no matter how old it is.
Love is selfless; you never leave my mind
Love is a word with no definition
Love is unexpected yet never much of a surprise
Love is time: every second counts.
Love is a taste, one that is so often devoured.
Love is a book that must be read from cover to cover.
Love is happy when shared
Love is unstoppable when it is true.
Love is a gift from God.
Love is charity: The purest love of Christ

Written: June 2010

Poetry: My new Idea & Love Is . . . .

After consideration of the long time I have spent away from my blog, I decided I must return and I finally figured out what to say. I'm going to begin posting one poem or song from my poetry journal every day. This is basically only for you, Tyler and Shanelle, because I'm pretty sure you guys are the only two people that read my blog and I wouldn't really want many other people to read this awesomeness for fear of criticism.

Love Is . . . .

a feeling

an emotion

terrible

wonderful

peaceful

worthy

worth waiting for

patient

true

hard to find

lost 

powerful

non-violent

super

strong

a movement (Switchfoot - Love is the movement)

everywhere

nowhere

undefinable

a chance

gifts

thank you's

friends

family

relationships

"We all are love and love is hard" - Angels & Airwaves

happy 

thoughtful

inventive

a flower

a black hole

unbreakable

a thought

a book

a gift

incapacitating

poems

letters

simple

in my thoughts

in my heart

in my feelings

in my actions

in my brain

all I desire

the reason

sacrifice

forever

difficult

hard

easy 

unknown

you and me

music

words

frightening

unsuspected

a sound

a smell

 a taste

a word

a song

 an album

mysterious

amazing

young

humble

timeless

old

selfless

time

care

a tempo

a beat

unstoppable

petrifying

funny

a symphony

terrific

a note

an instrument

unmistakable

incomplete

doable

my heart

always

here 

there

 What she is called, apparently (she is love - Parachute)

completion

slow

fast

honest

purposeful

a mother

 the universe

the most powerful thing in existence

omnipotent

omniscient

unbeatable

indestructible

secret

a secret

irreplaceable

personal

open

freedom

desirable

marriage

wisdom

ageless

undefinable

and so many other things . . .

Comment, if you want to add anything.

 Written: May 2010 by Gregory J. Rellaford with assistance from Shanelle Winkel

Sleep Well & Good (E)vening: The Tenacious Old Man's Anthem

Note: at the bottom of my blog there is a link to a video of these two songs, so you can listen while reading.

The other day I was listening to a song called Sleep Well by Mae. This is the last song with words that Mae ever wrote. It is their last song (excluding Good (E)vening). I was listening to it in "the burb". Sleep well starts out very soft and by the end it is starting to get rocky then Good Evening shows up and the electric guitars are rolling and the bass guitar is bringing a smile to your face. Well in listening to these songs I began to think about what they met.
       In a way they represent the death of a band going on to other things. It is really pretty and melodic and the fans love it. When I first heard these two songs it gave me chills and I realized that there is not a better way for a band to be done. They did a perfect job, because they went out fighting.
      From this I began thinking about what it symbolized and I have remarked to my father before that all of Mae's albums represent a lifetime, specifically (M)orning, (A)fternoon, and (E)vening. Notice the MAE. Anyway, when I got to the end of this album I came to these songs, and they happen to be two of my favorite songs, and did I mention that Mae is basically my favorite band? Well I thought about what they represent in a lifetime, I decided that they represent death. Sleep well is as you pass into eternal sleep to wake in the next life. Mae's lead singer encourages the dying man to sleep well. Then just as the man is dying he opens his eyes and looks into the infinite beyond to start real life. Good Evening! That awesome guitar gives me chills every time. This song also makes for good movie credits. When I die, I want these two songs played at my funeral, because I'm going to be that tenacious old man that isn't afraid of death but looks into eternity with hope and a grin on his face. I'm going to die knowing that I changed the world and that the Lord is satisfied with my work. Just listen to the song and let the chills flow. When I thought about my death it gave me way strong chills and I just decided that I love these songs. They truly represent the end of a lifetime and the beginning of the next. Though Mae has ended, their memory lives on in me and so many other inspired people. Become a fan and you won't regret it.  They are the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yellowcard-You and Me and One Spotlight

You, Me, and One Spotlight (My Translation)

This is my interpretation of the song You, Me, and One Spotlight by Yellowcard. Listen to the song link at the bottom.

This is the chorus of this song, or the original at least. This is the most important part. I'll take it line by line.

Say you will be all around me
When your body sets your heart free
Say you will be all around me
Say you'll get me before the ending
Take my body, set my heart free
Say you'll get me through the ending
Say you will be (you won't be long)
All around me (you won't be long now)

Say You will be all around me. This is our own plea for Jesus to be near us and to save us. We ask for him to surround us and protect us from evil or harm.
When your body sets your heart free. I never quite understand this line, so I interpret it differently, but I think this could definitely be that we desire for freedom from our corrupted physical self, and we can't wait to see our savior again.
Say You will be all around me. The same plea as before, but reiterating makes it more powerful.
Say You'll get me through the ending. I always take this as Say you'll [guide] me through the ending. This would be our personal request for Christ to stay with us through everything, and we know that he will.
Take my body, set my heart free. This to me would be saying take my sins and faults of the natural man, and make me perfect. He takes our sins to sets our souls free from our guilt.

Say You'll get me through the ending. This line again reminds us we really do need him.
Say You will be (You won't be long). You won't be long can also be, please don't be long! We need him and we are asking him to be there soon.
All Around Me (You won't be long now). We are assured he will be near us and we can make it through with him. He won't be long when we need him.

It can also be interpreted that this is about when we die and we ask Christ to get us before the ending and guide us through, while He promises to be with us always.

You, Me, and One Spotlight

It won't be long now
The music's on loud
We'll sing this song out
And then we'll lie down
I'll hold you close then
And let you know when
The space and time bend
And then we'll fall in

Go put on your best tonight
It's you and me and one spotlight
One more show, one last time
We are ready

Say you will be all around me
When your body sets your heart free
Say you will be all around me

I'll look for your eyes
To keep me inside
When everything dies
But one last sunrise
And when we stand there
Together not scared
I'll dry your last tear
And then we'll just err

Go put on your best tonight
It's you and me and not much time
To watch the world burning bright
We are ready

Say you will be all around me
When your body sets your heart free
Say you will be all around me
Say you'll get me before the ending
Take my body, set my heart free
Say you'll get me before the ending

Go put on your best tonight
It's you and me and one spotlight
One more show, one last time
It won't be long now

Say you will be all around me
When your body sets your heart free
Say you will be all around me
Say you'll get me before the ending
Take my body, set my heart free
Say you'll get me before the ending
Say you will be (you won't be long)
All around me (you won't be long now)

Top 20 favorite songs and 5 favorite bands

1. Only One - Yellowcard
2. Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls
3. Incomplete - Backstreet Boys
4. The Scientist - Coldplay
5. The Truth - Kris  Allen
6. Name [New Version] - the Goo Goo Dolls
7. Sleep Well & Good (E)vening - Mae (There are two songs, but I consider them as one.)
8. The Fisherman Song (We All Need Love)
9. Politik - Coldplay
10. Gifts and Curses - Yellowcard
11. I'm Right Here - The Goo Goo Dolls
12. Believe - Yellowcard
13. Bite My Tongue - Relient K
14. Dare You To Move - Switchfoot
15. Boston - Augustana
16. Drops of Jupiter - Train
17. The Reason - Hoobastank
18. Fix You - Coldplay
19. The Sound of You and Me - Yellowcard
20. Night/Day - Mae
21. On Your Own - Green River Ordinance
22. Not Quite Paradise - Bliss 66
23. Cut Me, Mick - Yellowcard
24. This Man - Jeremy Camp
25. Secret Crowds - Angels & Airwaves

I think this is all of them, but I can't guarantee it. They also probably aren't in order, quite right, but I think that is them. If I were to add some more there would be Elgar/Something Inside from August Rush, Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol, Therapy - Relient K, and some more . . . .

My 5 favorite bands are:
1. Yellowcard
2. Mae (This is such a close second, I might as consider 1 and 2 as both firsts because quite often, Mae is on the top spot. It is a constant battle. I just feel like Mae and Yellowcard describe me best and they bring something out of me that I really love. A certain sense of depth that I can't find anywhere else.
3. Relient K
4. Switchfoot
5. The Goo Goo Dolls.

The Truth, is that I really love music

Do any of you have those songs that really just stir your soul? Well I was thinking about one of those which is The Truth by Kris Allen (music video posted above) and I just wanted to say how much I love music like this. It has that strong bass guitar, the piano chords, the musicality, the stirring emotional chords. They get me every time. Often times when I am feeling a little bit sad I turn on this song and I sing it at the top of my lungs. There is no other feeling like it for me. When you just turn up a song and as you sing it while no one is around, when I can feel all the emotion and sympathies stream out of my lungs and the tears come to my eyes. When I first heard this song, I loved it and I still do. I really just love any song that has a similar effect on me.

The Elements of A Successful Dance

After attending a dance last night I have decided to put together a list of highly important elements that define how a dance works for you, how you work for the dance, and how the dance just works. As far as I can tell these several points are amongst the most important variables.

1. Attitude and Mood: Before going to a dance, you have to be in the mood. Going to a dance in a bad mood or a bored mood typically relates in a dumb dance, only because you were in a bad mood. So what you have to do is turn on some dancy music and loosen up before you go to the dance.

2. The Outfit: I am a heavy believer in dancing shoes. I always wear my same extremely beat up $10 wal-mart shoes. They are paper thin, but you can move your foot like your hand is in a glove in these shoes they are so loose and comfortable. You probably want your dancing shoes to have little to no grip so you can slide your feet everywhere. It doesn't matter what you wear on your feet to or from the dance as long as you are wearing your dancing shoes. I can not say that a theme at a dance is a necessary requirement, but I think it definitely adds a good element to it. A dress code is thus suggested. For me I find that I can only dance in jeans and a t-shirt. Also dressing like you are a gangsta for whatever reason causes it to be a lot easier to dance better, so always keep in mind what you are wearing.

3. Food: This is basically a necessity. Every good party, dance, and activity are always associated with food. That will certainly liven the environment and give everyone something to do when the dumb DJ plays a naughty song, such as "Moves like Jagger." That comes to my next element, the DJ.

4. Disc Jockey (DJ): This is definitely one of the key elements. Some DJ's believe that they know what you like and so they turn on stupid music from the 70's that they like and they keep all the lights on, so you feel like you are being interrogated. I have had DJ's declare that "The final Countdown" is a slow song. Don't believe them. If this happens, it is time to have your own dance in the parking lot. The DJ's choice of music will change the world. In my opinion a DJ should incorporate at least 6-8 slow songs into every dance, but few do these days. Well, maybe 4-6. Slow songs are so you can talk to a partner for one, cool down, and regain your energy to party hard. Also the DJ can not play in between slow/fast songs where you aren't sure how to dance. They need to stick with upbeat, and please for the love of human life, do not play the boot skooking banookie. We have heard that song far too many times. Essentially cool DJ's that listen to your opinions (if they are good ones) and play good music are cool with me.

5. DJ Equipment: Seriously, nobody wants to have a dance party that includes 2 speakers, neither of which are sub woofers, and a head lamp for lighting. A DJ must have good lighting and good speakers. The more the better, which is always true. A disco ball is always nice too. Please have at least 6 speakers and a screen is always a cool element.

6. The Arena: The place where the dance is held and what is in it. This can vary quite a lot. I find that I prefer carpet over wood because you can slide your feet more. Also there needs to be rather low lights. Decorations are not necessary, but everyone loves a dance that is transformed from a church gym to look like some kind of beautiful park, a mystical jungle, or a San Fransisco skyline. Yes, always put up decorations. It really adds to the moods, and little Christmas lights EVERYWHERE is super awesome (of course, in my opinion). The place should be large enough and have plenty of ventilation so people can stay cool, but still get sweaty hair.

7. Friends: Everybody knows that you have to go dancing with a crew. You have to have at least one person with you and pray that they aren't a wall flower, so that you can expand your view and be willing to dance a little crazier.

8. Music: This was already mentioned with the DJ, but once again upbeat, several slow songs and all will be well.

9. Courage: You must be willing to dance, or why go? You must also be willing to dance with the opposite gender. Come on, every guy goes to dances because he wants to be with girls. I can't speak for the ladies but I assume it is vice versa.

10. Just Have Fun: Loosen up. Smile! Dances are for your benefit and enjoyment, so enjoy it.

These are the 10 basic themes that I can think of right now, and I think that basically sums up a good dance. Maybe some day I will include a pretty good playlist that is safe for dances. We'll see. Thanks for reading! Comment with questions, comments, and positive criticism.

11. Submitted by Tyler Cox and in his words: 

If I may add, I find there are far too many people who hold the belief that dancing takes certain skills or talent that one is born with or learns through classes and so on. Not so. Just move your limbs and body to the beat and the music, loosen up, and be willing to sing along because it can sometimes improve your dancing. Also, you can dance by seeing others do some moves and you just pick out some of those moves and mix it with others you see or know and after a few dances you have quite a few moves you know. It's easier than you think. Keep a spark in your eye and hear hear! to the post on being willing to dance with a girl/boy!

Patching the holes

I feel a little bit lighter.
I feel a hole dying
The sky is much brighter
There is hope flying

The day has finally come
I waited long enough.
Maybe I'm overreacting some
but maybe it isn't to much

I'm patching the holes
I'm smiling again
Trying to solidify my roles
the divide isn't as big as the seine

I finally got to answer the call
I heard the voice
and there goes the wall
I heard that noise

and all I can say is that I am happy.
I haven't felt this whole filled in ages.
But it feels so good and it fills me with hope.
Thanks for the call. I've been waiting a long time.

and by the way, this has nothing to do with my mission call, well a tiny bit, but that isn't the subject.

Let it be known

"Dear Elder Rellaford:

You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the Florida Fort Lauderdale Mission. It is anticipated that you will serve for a period of 24 months.

You should report to the Provo Missionary Training Center on Wednesday, May 16, 2012. You will prepare to preach the gospel in the Haitian Creole language. . . .

                     Sincerely,

                   Thomas S. Monson, President"


Oh, and I can't wait!!!!! Haitian Creole!!!!!!! I am so excited to be a missionary. I was born to do this! Florida, here I come!

 A little bit of Mission pride!

 President Anderson and Sister Anderson

Yep we have a temple!

A Truly Great Friend

      This post is a shout out to my great friend Cree Anderson. I should first mention that we've been friends for about fourteen years now. I also think I should mention that before I met Cree I dreamed about him. I've always felt that our destiny's were intertwined, but we'll see I suppose. Though we have had distance in between ourselves at times, I have been very grateful to have Cree nearby for the past year or so as we are experiencing similar things in life.
      Anyway, Cree got his mission call the same day as I did, but he opened his two days before me. I couldn't believe the anticipation as I waited for my one of my long time best friend to open his mission call. We have been through so much that it was such a cool experience. I felt the spirit so strongly as he opened up that call and bore his testimony of the truthfulness of missions. That curly blond kid that is four days younger than I.
       I still have another reason to let Cree know how grateful I am for him. It seems that at times in my life when I have really needed help Cree has been there. When I was in seventh grade I decided to not go on a science field trip because my teacher sprung it on us the two weeks before school ended, well I paid for it and I had an F. I had to go do the field trip by myself, but I had to have someone from the class come do it with me. Cree was willing to sacrifice his afternoon to take me to Adventure Park, but not only that, his parents drove us there and picked us up. He literally helped me pass seventh grade and I couldn't of without him. Just this last week I found out I had work a half hour before and we didn't have a car at home, so Cree gave me a ride to work at Maceys. He also offered to pick me up at l1:00 PM. It truly touched me that I had a friend that cared about me that much that he would be willing to go so far out of his way to make my way possible. He truly is such a Christ-like friend and example. He truly is an everyday hero.